Meanwhile, the prospect of sharing the rink with deaf people had left me positively giddy, like I was at a theme party. I love deaf people! Just not Marlee Matlin. It seemed like a typical afternoon skate to me, complete with the rogue assholes skating on the diagonal, against traffic. There, now you know something about my private bedroom life. Oh, was I in a foul mood after that! Never has someone had a scowl so chiseled while being serenaded by Vandross.
Toward the end of the song, Henry skated onto the rink and attempted to take my hand, oh valiant one that he is. And Chooch was off somewhere laying on a bench, being a pouter-bitch. I think he may have only skated for one song all afternoon.
Oh holy shit was I livid. Nice to know I came to the rink to skate alone. In other rink news, I have been having a big issue with the music there. I feel like it used to be a decent mix, with some nerve-grating tracks, but you have to expect that shit when the DJ is paid to cater to the masses of ordinary people who like shitty, ordinary music.
Fuck the other song too.
This is the best us ladies get? Beyonce or motherfucking Aqua? I sat on the bench, gripping my phone and clenching my jaw. Deaf people are so lucky they get to avoid the Black Eyed Peas. I skated away in disgust and immediately this really terrible song came on that he plays every week. I figured Henry would know, because it sounded like some goddamn Leif Garrett Afterschool Special track that he would have hitched up his tube socks and pranced around his bedroom to.
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For three whole hours, Henry and I get along. Sometimes he even looks attractive to me. They make me embarrassed for my fellow white people, the same way my reverse racism embarrasses Henry. Sometimes, during regular afternoon sessions, there is this awesome semi-scene kid who comes alone, with his own green-wheeled skates. He was sitting behind me in the snack room, so I propped my phone up to make it look like I was taking a picture of myself.
To the left. Thank god Henry is old and gets all my stupid 70s television programming references.
Seriously, you have to see this kid from the front. Laura reveling in her first Soul Skate!
I trailed them silently for a while, trying to eavesdrop, because what could they possibly have to talk about? Paul is a tangible majesty on wheels, leaving a trail of rhythm and skate-sex in his wake you should see this man couple-skate! Henry does not find this amusing.
This is a big, serious process! So we talked about my options, and then Paul kept trying to convince Henry to give his skates a try. He bragged about it for days. The ring leader was a ginger bitch wearing underwear on the outside of her jeans. Laura overheard her telling someone she had lost a bet, but I could tell she was the type of person who thrived on the attention, good or bad.
I kept speeding past them, like I do, and I think Gingerpants was getting angry about it, because toward the end of the night, she suddenly broke away from the pack and passed me out of nowhere. One thing to know about me is that I get easily up-in-arms. When I am on that rink though, I get what I like to call skate muscles, where I really feel like everyone is out to get me and I am there to beat up the world. Whether she did it intentionally or not I honestly believe that she DID, though , this carrotbroad just threw down the gauntlet for a skate battle.
She had rejoined her little suburban whitebreads; I dug down hard and picked up a good speed, turning to the side to skim between her and the wall. He basically gets one song to do his static routine, while all the little girls who have never seen him before kneel on the carpeted benches and squeal in amazement. There was a lot of snow on the ground, with the threat for more, yesterday when we arrived at the rink. But there was still a line.
These were cool in ! I think Joy wanted me to point out that John bit it three times while she remained upright for the whole session. Chooch spent the rest of the day singing the Village People quietly to himself. Better than Katy Perry. You never ask anyone to come with us anymore! All the time! However, Laura was off last Sunday and promised that she would go, even though she fell when she attemped to skate at my birthday party last summer.
It was so crowded last Sunday! Almost like roller skating was popular again. In addition to multiple birthday parties, I think it was Urban Recreation Day because the hooligans were there by the busload. And of course, none of them could skate so the rink was a minefield of inner city limbs. Laura fell before she even made it onto the rink and I am so disappointed that I missed it. Henry got to see it though and I hope that he laughed at her, but knowing Henry, he probably dove into Real American Hero mode and offered to help her up. Chooch and I do this awesome thing where we ditch Henry at the skate counter and then he has to carry an entire bushel of quads back to us.
And I always sit as far away as possible, allowing for the utmost chances of jutted feet for him to trip over as he weaves and winds his way down to me. My friend Shawn recently moved back to the area last year and I managed to con him and his two little girls, Cosi and Anais, to come out for some afternoon skate action. In addition to spending quality time with his kid, the fact that he knew he would be subject to relentless guilt-tripping and puppy dog-eyeing from me might have factored in as well.
There was a new rink ref there that day. Plus, there was nothing annoying, creepy or offensive about him! I know this because Roller Creep was there again so I got a pretty telling side-by-side comparison. It was rough waters out there that day. Roller DJ and I have differing opinions on this subject, but I think that sharing a rink with children is pretty much the worst thing ever to have to do with skates on.
This might have a lot to do with the fact that I generally do not approve of the presence of children anywhere, though. With my 5-year-old! How romantic! We were packed in like sardines on that fucking rink and I found myself trapped in the most congested area of all. At this particular moment, I needed the fucking Heimlich. A small child in front of me started to go down.
I saw it as if it were playing out in slow-motion but there was nothing I could do; I was blocked on both sides and my reflexes atrophied. Before I knew it, I was skating right into a tangled child. And of course this would happen on the one day my friends actually came out to watch me be a dream on wheels. This was it, the moment I had been dreading since I started roller skating again as an adult: I was going to break my hip, splinter my pride, split my pants: one if not ALL of these things were going to happen in 3…2….
I landed on one knee and one hand and in one quick motion, I sprung myself back up. Oh, the grace that was displayed! It would have made an angel flush with envy. Shawn missed it too. Amazing recovery aside, it still sucks to wipe out as an adult. My No Fall Streak is done-zo.
I was also angry because my phone charger broke as soon as we left the house. So we talked about my options, and then Paul kept trying to convince Henry to give his skates a try. I believe that the Ace Hotel as planned is architecturally attractive, but its storey height will create a dangerous amount of traffic. Perk yourself up with caffeine and a pastry from some of the best coffee shops and espresso bars in the city. Thank god he is way more self-sufficient than me and was able to procure his own food. Still, Chooch was all concerned about her every time and had to check for himself to make sure she was OK. Site of the Mutual Street Arena.
Roller DJ plays the Hokey Pokey every week; you can laugh all you want, but that shit is fucking fun. However, Laura shook her head in fright and the rest of them were nowhere in sight, so I skated out alone and joined the oblong people-circle. There is something exceptionally pathetic and slightly embarrassing about being a grown-up and doing the Hokey Pokey alone. The Andy Griffith Show? Kristy McNichol coming out as a lesbian? Who the fuck knows! Which is where you will almost always find me, considering that is what I pay to do. I felt my face flare up with The Flames of Jealousy. God, go tell your mommy about it.
I will say though, that it is pretty cool to go there every week and have all these guys saying hello and looking all happy to see us. Note: I apologize if my posts have been even more grammar-erratic than usual lately. Comcast was supposed to come today but they did NOT and you better believe I want my bill adjusted. Anyway, I have been posting from my phone and sometimes from work, although I have actually had real work to do! Life is hard, you guys.
There is an older broad here with a huge stick up her ass and a dildo-looking boyfriend on roller blades who is showing off for her and her two cunt-face little girls. Either way: total Uggz City. Another young person looks just like the boy from Dark Crystal, only with a vagina. Henry agrees for once. In actual skating news, Chooch is getting so good, you guys! Chooch had another skating lesson Saturday evening. I recoiled, then seethed, then declared my hatred for them.
However, it only took me ten minutes once inside to completely forget about the Giggle Hookers and set my sights on another young target. It all started when I got up to pee. Maybe a little smug, but nothing about her attitude really stuck out. Well, duh, you dumb bitch. She flitted her eyes away from mine in a hurry. Arms akimbo, I stormed over to Henry and began waving wildly as I told him and his mom what I had witnessed. But I really am angry! Yeah right. Every once in awhile, he would wave at me from his stance on neutral land.
It was pretty adorable. He was a hot mess on rollerblades. He had on really nice quads and Henry said something about wanting to buy them. Actually, it was kind of hot. I continued to make eye contact with Whorebitch every time she skated near our spot on the bench, though.
I always forget that I can be recording shit with my phone, so now I am making up for it by recording shit that no one cares about. Look at how emotionally vacant Henry is. This may have less to do with it being Saturday and more to do with the fact that there was an ice storm the night before. And one of them had shorter laces which needed to be tied lower than the other! Two really disconcerting flaws for someone who nitpicks every little thing that is put upon her person.
So for the first time ever, I had to return a pair of skates at the Rollerdrome. The second pair of skates had adequate symmetrical properties, but the wheels were all fucked up and making me feet turn out against their will. I kept gliding over to Henry to bitch about it, at which point he would make the audacious suggestion that this was all in my head. This angered me. I wanted Henry to acknowledge my plight, to halt his Opie of Mayberry nerd patrol promenade around the rink and get to the bottom of my wonky wheels. And I did just that — took my temper, my indignation, my scrappy determination, and my catawampus-wheeled skates back on the rink.
Meanwhile, Henry skipped out on his theme song and called all his make believe friends on his make believe phone to tell them about his new hair cut. Goodbye, flowing McNichol-locks, hello Mr. It only really bears a loose resemblance to Mr. Belvedere of our house. In other rink happenings, there was this stout lady in a purple sweater who was obviously some washed-up competition queen because she was doing all kinds of old school moves, but not the awesome soul skate jam moves.
My personal favorite was when she would squat down real low, prop her elbows on her inner thighs, and glide around the corners like it was some uncomfortable skate dance choreography for child birth. The fact that she was at least my age and fatter than me, and still out there doing her thing made me feel this really weird, awkward sensation.
Sadly, it took me more than once to finally learn my lesson. I know, I was just as disgusted with myself! Or at least take him in the alley out back. Even if Henry and I were there alone, he would never choose me. And he is getting so good at skating! Then it was time for the Pepsi Challenge! I think there were 5 of us in all who got a ticket for a free Pepsi in the snack room. We stopped in the snack room on the way out so I could cash in my winnings. She was literally right next to my shoulder. She looked down at me and smiled and waited expectantly.
It was the longest, most pregnant pause of my life. That is, if my fickle feet can even tolerate low-tops. You just wait and see. I hear it now. And then I immediately skated off the rink and joined Henry on a bench. Let her suck at something for once! Henry frowned. View this post on Instagram. Summer, being less of a crybaby than Erin. There is so much of the American experience that I see reverberating off the orange and yellow walls of this place, so many stories within stories carried through its doors, and a revolving cast of characters that make it easy to spend time there just listening and watching.
Lights illuminate skates for sale in the pro-room window as people make their way around the floor at Neville Roller Drome on Neville Island on Saturday, July 23, Jeffrey Hurst, 9, of Upper St. Chief Rosenthal said the victims tried to break up the dispute, causing ''an altercation,'' in which one of the arrested gang members ''made a call for assistance.
About 12 other members of the Green Dragons arrived and the victims were attacked outside the rink and spirited to Westchester, where they were killed, Chief Rosenthal said. Because the victims were shot at close range and dumped into the river -characteristic of ''execution style'' slayings - gang members were suspected.
Link to Other Crimes. The police said the investigation had linked the suspects with a number of other gang-related crimes in New York City, but they would not provide further details. Several of those arrested also had previous police records. View all New York Times newsletters. Yesterday, court-ordered searches for the murder weapons were carried out at apartments in Brooklyn and Queens, leading to the arrest of six others, who were charged with second- degree murder, and the seizure of nine handguns.
The police said ballistics tests had not yet been performed on the guns to determine whether they had been used in the killings. More Suspects Sought. The police described the Green Dragon gang, to which the suspects belonged, as ''an offshoot'' of the Fok Ching, the victims' gang, and said that there had not been any notable incidents of violence between the two groups since the killings. James McVeety, commanding officer of the New York City Police Department Jade Squad, which investigates Asian organized crime groups, said members of the Green Dragon gang typically enter Asian-owned businesses in Queens ''and say they are from Mott Street and ask for bail money for their brother.
Bruce Bendish, the Westchester County assistant district attorney handling the case, said at the news conference the evidence involving the nine suspects ''will be presented to a grand jury, which will undoubtedly bring additional charges. A handful of suspects in the killing still remain at large, according to the police.